Source: Google Images

Struck A Chord

I’m in the middle of a good read, The Last Kingdom, by excellent spy novelist Steve Berry and, as always, something I read in one of the chapters strikes a personal chord:

“…back in his apartment in Copenhagen, among the few things he’d brought with him when he….moved from Georgia to Denmark. One life left behind, another looming on the horizon. He’d purposely brought along as little as possible. Foolishly, he’d thought the past would leave him behind. But he’d come to learn that the past never stopped coming. The trick was to learn how to deal with its relentlessness.”

All Over the Map

About two years ago I sat down and drew a rough U.S. map marked with lines of adventure from all my cross- and semi-cross country travels. There were more than I realized but like the character Cotton Malone in the above novel, I too brought along a few things that were a part of my life and, well, defined me as me. I rid myself of belongings that I felt, at the time, were not me even though I wasn’t yet sure who that was.

As I’d crisscrossed the U.S. and Caribbean, I recently realized, I’d gone through a few metamorphoses (on several levels) in trying to find myself and what I truly liked in life (food, clothing/shoes, culture, jobs, etc.). The past thirty years have been an experiment of sorts, with me finding out more and more about myself with each move to some other place on the map.

I moved to Connecticut because it was pretty and I found good work there. For the most part, I dressed professionally and had quite a selection of dressy shoes/boots/pumps. It was also where my love of Western boots and Southwestern décor blossomed at some point. (I’m not sure why but it led me to my next destination, in the next paragraph; perhaps that was the point.)

In New Mexico, along with my Southwestern furnishings and boots, I traded the more formal parts of my wardrobe for daily casual wear and shoes with aggressive soles (read: hiking shoes) to traverse the dry, dusty, jagged and rugged Santa Fe landscape. Once I completed graduate school, I relocated to the Northwest. I tried a few places in Oregon and Washington but didn’t like the gray and rain – too depressing. I kept the casual wardrobe but replaced the hiking shoes with sneakers and flip-flops in the summer.

Arriving in Southern California, I kept with the casual clothes: shorts, leggings, jeans and flip-flops; that seems to be the standard wardrobe here. I then traveled around the Caribbean for seven months, where shorts, a tank top and flip-flops or sandals were the choice because it was too hot and muggy for anything else. I bought one pair of dressy summer sandals for a few celebratory occasions.

I moved to Northern California where it it just as casual, even at work. “Business casual” in Northern Cali means leggings (read: gym/yoga pants) and open-toed sandals paired with a casual but not always dressy top. I quickly tired of the “just-got-out-bed” or the “all-my-nice-clothes-are-dirty” look and began the search back to where I started: with nicer, maybe a bit more classic and comfortable, footwear (and clothes in general). I managed to score some nice Italian leather mules. I also found a nice pair of Inkkas joggers (they’re great for walking) made with deep red suede and a Moroccan pattern that dressed them up a bit.

Where’s Waldo…

How does this translate to finding myself? I now realize that throughout my travels and adventures I’ve tried on a lot of different shoes; wore different clothes; ate different foods; lived in different cultures, some with different languages. In trying to find myself, I opened myself up to what life had to offer and how much of it worked for me (and, more importantly, getting rid of what didn’t).

Even in writing I’ve created fiction, nonfiction, poetry, articles, blogs, and a few books. I’ve learned how to research and build a story. I’ve researched professional tomes to build a professional book. I’ve opened myself up to writing poetry from the heart when it has moved me to do so.

Dipping one’s toes into myriad waters doesn’t mean you’re disorganized or lack direction, it simply means you’re curious – most likely about yourself more than the subject of your writing and what makes you that unique you.

I always took a bit of me with me, even while I was discovering new aspects of me. But no matter how hard I tried (and I did, believe me), I couldn’t leave my past behind. As I wrote in my blog post, Coming Full Circle,

“Maybe all that running/moving around the country I’ve posted about was a lot like Forrest Gump’s three-year run: to purge some emotions, to run away from some problems and to heal with time.”

Yup. That’s exactly the conclusion I came up with – that going home will complete the circle of finding myself (knowing who I am and what I like) because home was where I’d always belonged. Clothes, food, languages, and all. I just didn’t know it until now.

After all… 

“There’s no place like home.”

#writing #WizardofOz #writersoninstagram, #soulsearching #findyourself #travel #adventure #home #NewEngland #Massachusetts #Boston #author #getoutside #culture #SantaFe #southwest #wardrobe

Tinkering With Our Brains

I’m an analog in a digital world. I sometimes still prefer to use a pen/pencil (read here), because I remember better (and more) when I write everything down. I’m grateful for the Internet access yet I’m cautious; is it too much of a good thing? Or am I worrying about nothing important? Or somewhere in between? 

With the advent of the World Wide Web, I have noticed certain changes in my thought processes, my ability to concentrate (now for shorter and shorter periods of time) and how I both gather and store information in short and long-term memory. I feel more scatterbrained, with an even shorter attention span and I’m not sure I like it. I recently discovered a book written in 2010 (with a 2020 revision) by Nicholas Carr, titled The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains, on this very topic.

Nicholas discusses the Internet, why we have been mistaken about its use, and its effect on our brains. He provides a clearer understanding of living in a digital, up-to-the-moment kind of world and the changes that brings, both positive and negative. Just for context, I’ve had to read the Introduction in his book several times to glean the points I want to make here. I scan more quickly but I retain less information. Not a good trade, in my opinion.

“McLuhan understood that whenever a new media comes along, people naturally get caught up in the information – the “content” – it carries. 

(In reference to author Marshall McLuhan, Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man)

Information Overload…

We’re overloaded with stimuli when peering into the digital abyss that is the WWW. We jump, no LEAP, from one link to the next, our thoughts splintering in multiple directions along the way. Because information retention is not required (why bother, it’s at our fingertips, right?), memory suffers, as does our thinking, which becomes more superficial and less complex in process. According to Carr, “we become less reflective and more impulsive.” (I could diverge into a discussion on the increase of impulsive, narcissistic behaviors but I’ll leave that alone for now.) He also writes that the Internet “subverts our patience and concentration” and I’m having those issues while writing this post.

“Media work their magic, or their mischief, on the nervous system itself.”

McLuhan wrote that the effects of technology do not occur at the level of opinions or concepts…rather they alter “pattern of perceptions steadily and without any resistance.” In other words, we may not recognize how the brain and nervous system are being changed and to what degree. What, Carr examines in his book, are the cognitive and cultural consequences?

“When people start debating (as they always do) whether the medium’s effects are good or bad, it’s the content they wrestle over. …in the long run a medium’s content matters less than the medium itself in influencing how we think and act.”

Hocus Pocus, Lost My Focus

Our focus on content can easily blind us to the effects on the brain and central nervous system. We see the Internet as a tool that we use instead of it being a medium/technology that guides and changes how we use it. We’re fooled into believing that we’re in control, that we choose our search methods and options, that we choose which links to click. That’s the tricky part about this thing called the Internet. We don’t make as many choices as we think, they’re made for us. (Conspiracy theorists might argue it’s mass mind control – and who’s to say that’s right or wrong?)

The world is literally at our fingertips but is that a good thing? I suppose it depends on which side of the Internet fence you sit – supporter or detractor – but no user can escape its long-term effects.

“For the last five centuries, ever since Gutenberg’s printing press made book reading a popular pursuit, the linear, literary mind has been at the center of art, science, and society. As supple as it is subtle, it’s been the imaginative mind of the Renaissance, the rational mind of the Enlightenment, the inventive mind of the Industrial Revolution, even the subversive mind of Modernism.

It may soon be yesterday’s mind.”

– Nicholas Carr, author

A Future to Look Forward To?

If you’re old enough to remember the film 2001: A Space Odyssey by Stanley Kubrick, then you understand the concept of tinkering with a brain and changing how humans think. Not only how we think but how we process and store information – into short- and long-term memory. It wasn’t that long ago when it was easy to get caught up in a good book that captivated a reader for hours on end. How many of you can still do that? (I’m raising my hand as I still love holding a book in my lap and diving deep into a good story.)

The Internet (and other media on it) has changed how our brains function – now we can only handle reading a few pages before feeling bored or losing concentration and feeling the need to move onto something else. Constant, short-term stimulation. Immediate gratification. The ability to grasp complex thoughts and contemplation are slowly being replaced by the need to scroll – endlessly, it seems – through mountains of information (including disinformation), barely registering more than the necessary bits and bytes.

The Internet is not only the stuff of thought but shapes our thought as well. How will this affect our species in evolution?

“The Machine, he now raves to his mother, “has robbed us of the sense of space and of the sense of touch, it has blurred every human relation and narrowed down love to a carnal act, it has paralyzed our bodies and our wills, and now it compels us to worship it.” E.M. Forster, author of the 1909 novella called “The Machine Stops.”

Sourced from an article in the Boston Globe, written by Tom Joudrey, on early 20th century warnings of AI and its effect on humanity.

Time to give this subject some deep thought, contemplation – while we still can.

#Internet #neurology #digitallife #authorsoninstagram #author #amwriting #artificialintelligence #AI #future #technology #stanleykubrick #spaceodyssey #digitalrevolution #mestengobooks #bostonglobe #journalism #tomjoudrey